John Oliver on Trump's budget cuts: 'impatient, vain and horny for malice'

John Oliver Says Adding Zebras To Our News May Be The Only Way Forward — VIDEO

John Oliver Says Adding Zebras To Our News May Be The Only Way Forward — VIDEO

"We wanted to take a look at the federal budget", said Oliver "This week, Donald Trump, a man who constantly promised that he would run America like a business, gave us our clearest sense yet of how he plans to do that". For example, Oliver found a Trump speech on military spending in which he said, "You gotta make the country rich again and strong again so that you can afford military and all of the other things". Spoiler: the cuts Oliver highlights make up a minuscule portion of the federal budget.

In response to a CNN clip with a scrolling list of departments that would face cuts under Trump's "skinny budget", the comedian likened the situation to the "end credits for America". "Let's trickle-dickle some money-bunnies into our boom-boom budget", Oliver joked.

"You should regret everything: every life decision that brought you into this regretful job that you regretfully hold", Oliver said. Press secretary Sean Spicer reportedly privately apologized after stating that Trump stood by that claim-but later denied that he apologized, saying that the Trump administration didn't have any regrets. "Trump is so consistently monstrous sometimes out of sheer coincidence he happens to do something awesome". In particular, the host noted proposed cuts to rural airport subsidies. He played a series of Trump statements, then attempted to turn them into budget items.

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Oliver closed the segment by using Trump's own words against him, quoting a section from his best-selling 1987 book, The Art of the Deal. You can create excitement.

"It is the budgetary equivalent of inviting Mitt Romney out to dinner at Jean-Georges before not offering him a cabinet position", Oliver declared, "and I will say that was awesome by the way. "You can't con people, at least not for long", a narrator recited. "It's taking longer than is perhaps ideal, but I think pretty soon, all of us will be fed up right to the tippy fucking top".

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